The Singles Scene Column
Single: To Be or Not to Be? by Kelly Leary, M.S.
How long have you been single? When was your last good relationship? What was the happiest time in your life? Most people will say: the happiest time in their life was when they were in a good relationship, i.e. in love. I’ve asked this question to people of all ages…from 20’s to 80’s…everyone answers the same way…”the happiest time in my life was when I was in a good relationship with________”. If you are like me, you have a few _______’s. That is my point. We are happiest when we are in a good partnership with one special someone. I don’t care who you are—this is the truth.
I’ve researched “happiness” and studies show that the highest form of happiness is not about money, fame, or beauty. The highest form of happiness is “togetherness”…and the ultimate form of togetherness is couple love. You have somebody to enjoy free time with, to visualize the future with . . . somebody who is there for you to share the good times and the bad times. Love does wonderful things for your state of mind, and the power of love is strong enough to keep your heart happy and your mind and body healthy. Love makes the body work better—doctors will tell you that. So, why be single? There is no good reason…as you are reading.
Studies show that the happiest nation in the world is Denmark…and the reason is the nation’s sense of togetherness. This country focuses on connecting with neighbors, family, friends, spouses, in ways we don’t even dream about. The people of this country are rated the happiest in the world and it is all because of the sense of peace that comes with togetherness and bonding.
Unless you are a loner, you probably would like to find a special someone…you are normal. Deep down, no one “wants” to be single. There is only one reason why someone would opt for single-dum (no pun intended) and that reason is FEAR. Fear of losing freedom, money, and rejection...fear of being hurt or fear of hurting. So, the person who has been single forever is really just a big CHICKEN. There is someone for everyone--and if you look in the right places—you will find your special someone! Albeit it is a numbers game. Get out there already…GET STARTED. The calendar is turning anyways…and you are not likely to be getting any cuter or younger, are you?
The opposite of Love is Fear. Realize if you are staying single for fear based reasons then you are choosing FEAR over LOVE. That is not a good thing…and frankly…that will never be a good thing. Fear can cripple the mightiest! What are you afraid of? If you’re always thinking “No one will ever love me,” then change that to “I am lovable.” The biggest inhibitor to change lies within yourself, and nothing gets better until you change. Be positive rather than negative. Reprogram your brain . . . he or she is out there!!!
My original question transforms from “Single: to be or not to be?” to “Choose Love or Fear?” Now, that is the question! If you truly LOVE being single—I suppose you should stay that way. I doubt anyone truly LOVES it though. I doubt it highly, unless you are that true diagnosed loner.
We all know well that you don’t have to worry anymore about “where do I find quality singles?” I’ve got that covered. I can definitely make “dating” EZ for U. If you are ready to choose love over fear, he or she is absolutely out there—I assure you. That is no longer the problem thanks to Precision Dating. So get on with your hearts desires. Be good to yourself. Just keep moving. You want love and companionship. Now, take the next step.
In my 19 years in the biz, I have never seen more amazing single people. I have seen so many good candidates for men and women my age…twice my age…and half my age. I see great men and great women walk thru my doors daily. I feel honored to know so many amazing single people. The clientele that we see now are too smart for online dating (not to mention too busy)…they don’t like the bar scene…and are selective (picky) and seeking quality individuals.
Love conquers all . . . So choose LOVE over fear. It’s really the ONLY right answer. K.I.S.S. and XOXO.
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