Kelly's First Date Tips

Top 10 - FIRST DATE TIPS

 

1.  Dress to Impress--The most common complaint I get is from a woman about how the man was dressed.  Remember, a date is not "work" so leave the work boots home, put on a sharp shirt and pants. Get a hair cut be clean shaven.  Jeans are fine, as long as they are not "work" jeans.  Women should dress nice and fashionable, not "business like"...attraction is a component of a successful date.  We all have some of this...and it should be an ingredient in any date.  This is your first date and you should always put your best look forward.  Wow them with your sense of style and commitment to be and look your very best for them.  Take the time to dress and primp before the date.  Ladies...don't forget your lipstick!

 

2.  Be on time and don't reschedule--it sends a bad message.  You are building a possible relationship (if that is what you are seeking).  So, you should start with good scores from the get go.  Unreliability has never been a hit in relationships.  I'm sure we all have some stories about that.  Unreliable from the get go can often lead to big issues later on. 

 

3.  Avoid ALL talk about exes--including ex boyfriends, ex husbands, ex girlfriends, etc...  If you are talking badly about someone you chose to love at one point in your life, really, you are talking bad about yourself and will eventually talk bad about the person you are on a date with.  This is a "Lose-Lose" situation anyway you slice it, so don't even go there.  You would think we've all got this rule down by now, but I hear again and again--that people still do not get it.  Never break this rule!!  If your date asks you about your ex, politely respond with, "I would rather talk about you." 

 

4.  Don't complain (about anything).  Again, we know this, but people still fail to comply.  This is another no-brainer… your first impression and first time with this date, so don't complain about the restaurant, the service, or the food.  Make light of it.  If you really are getting bad service--make the most of it and say--"Well, we are still having fun despite the service here."  ; Life is what you make it...so if you get a lemon, make some lemonade.  People that do this well are impressive to others.  This is an admirable trait and an easy one to develop.

 

5.  If you like your date, show your interest.  We don't read minds so signals of interest and approval are meaningful.  We all want to be loved and adored.  So if you find yourself admiring your date for his shoes, his confident demeanor, his sense of humor...let him know!!  This will tell him you are confident enough to say and tell the truth and may very well get you to that second date--if that is what you want.  (Be careful what you wish for....because if you follow this advice you will end up on a second date for sure!!)

 

6.  The 50/50 rule:  and NO, I’m not talking about the tab!  Sorry guys, but I firmly believe that a first date (at the very least) is the guy’s responsibility.  I am talking about the conversation.  Try to make sure that you are talking 50% of the time and so is your date.  A big complaint that I get is that "He/She monopolized the conversation...I couldn't get a word in.  Well, hence the reason for this rule.  Keep it in mind.

 

7.  Don't tell your life story on a first date--EVER.  Save it for the second, third, fourth, fifth dates...there is something sexy in a mystery.  It is fun to explore and get to know someone over time.  That is what builds a relationship.  Always leave him (or her) wanting more.....of YOU!  

 

8.  Don't go into any medical problems you may have on a first date--unless you have a med alert situation--then I suppose your date may need to know.  Some daters, out of nervousness, may go overboard giving too much information (T.M.I.)....don't be guilty of this.  It’s a big turn off.  This is also a no-brainer, but you would be surprised how many people make this mistake.

 

9.  Smile, be peaceful, happy, engaging.  Be your best...enjoy your date.  Everyone has something to bring to the table--no matter who they are.  You can find good in everyone.  Find that good in your date...and if you want to see him or her again...you will. 

 

10.  This Dating stuff is more in your hands then you know.  If you want to see your date again, and you have followed rules 1 thru 9 then you should be in a good position to move to the next level.  At least one full day after the date, do call or indicate in someway that you enjoyed the date and would love to do it again.  The 24 hour call can be made by the male or female.  Sometimes men need the reassurance.  If you are the woman, and you make this call 24 hours after date #1  to tell him you'd like to do it again, and you don't hear back....then you should move on.  However, that first 24 hour call is fair game and sometimes polite for the woman to do so.  I've seen success stories both ways.